lists.

I am a constant list maker. The Notes app in my phone is full of lists that I've made about everything. I have daily task lists, Christmas lists, book lists, movie lists, travel lists, food lists, recipe lists, grocery lists, quote lists. You name it, and I've probably put it in a list.

I have noticed that as the holiday season has gotten underway in the past few weeks, and I have picked up a lot more hours at work, my list making has increased. It's not just because of Christmas gift buying and preparations for moving in a few months. I realized that when I have days off from work I rarely get anything done if I don't have a list. So I constantly make new daily task lists so that my days off aren't spent mulling over what needs to get done and when and instead are spent actually crossing items off my list. I am highly motivated by the cross-out (I made epic homework lists for school and Alex would constantly make funny of me when I would smile and scribble an assignment out. He also endlessly mocked me when I forgot my hardcopy lists at home and would make him send me a picture. Then I would make a list of the items I needed to cross off my hardcopy list when I got home. My life is an endless cycle of lists and crossing off).

For me, lists create a sense of calm and structure, since I can't really rely on my mind for either of those. Lists also help increase my personal feelings of self-worth and self-esteem. It's much easier to feel good about myself when I spend a day off from work doing things like laundry, shopping, and gift making instead of watching TV and painting my nails (though both of those things are sometimes included in my lists).

My Tuesday list:
Finish making christmas presents
wrap presents
laundry
vacuum
last gift shopping (components)

Obviously my lists make much more sense to me than anyone else, but that's all that matters right?