yesterday.

My guys during our road trip for Christmas

Yesterday I did something that I have wanted to do for about a month. It was something that I've never done in my life and never thought I would do.

I quit my job. Without notice. Without putting in my 2 weeks. Without shame. Without guilt. Without caring what this meant for my employer. Without finding another job to take its place.

I pride myself on being a really hard worker. I always give a full effort at everything I do while on the clock. I am always the one who looks for something else to be done when it is slow. That is why I never imagined myself quitting on the spot without giving 2 weeks notice.

But I was done. I was frustrated and fed-up and annoyed and angry and stressed out and tired.

A part-time, minimum wage job should not bring up all of those feelings. A salaried career? Maybe. But not working as a sales floor team member at Target for $9 an hour.

So I quit. I talked it over with my husband, weighed the pros and cons of not having my (minimal) income for the next little while, and we both decided that my sanity and health are worth more than the few hundred dollars I would have made if I stayed another month or even a last two weeks.

As we drove back home from dropping off my resignation letter, Alex started humming the song "I Gotta Feeling" by the Black Eyed Peas. It was sort of prophetic song for him to choose because within hours of that car ride, we signed a contract for an apartment in Portland and solidified (finally) our move up to Oregon. So it was a good, good night for us. And a good, good day for us too.

retail.

1

I work retail. (Can you guess where?) It is not fun. It is not fulfilling. And it is not my career. I tell myself that every day I walk through the doors: This is not my career.

A lot of people have said that everyone should have to work retail at one point in their lives because it will make us all nicer and more appreciative when we walk into stores. I honestly think that a lot of the people who are the worst toward retail employees would not be able to hack it working retail. It is a tough job. There are some days where I feel like I am just cleaning up other people's messes (guests and fellow team members). Those days are the worst because it feels so shameful to be forced to throw this abandoned coffee cup away because someone could not be bothered to walk five steps to the left. It feels shameful to pick up clothing and hangers and shoes off the ground because people do not have the decency to hang something back on the rack.

But somedays I find myself proud of the job I did. I finished three racks of go-backs today. Or I nailed the zoning on the baby food aisle. Or I helped someone finishing cleaning their section because I was done with mine early. Or, today, I helped two older ladies pick out some sweaters for the winter months (California winter months) when they had almost given up hope of finding anything in their size. That really made my day better. It was a small and super easy task for me but it was so nice to hear them both say "look at this one!" and "how cute is this?!" and then walk away with an armful each. I am a professional at spending other people's money, apparently.

But it seems to be few and far between on times like these. Like yesterday when an expecting mother stormed away from me because I told her we did not have a certain crib sheet set from her registry. Or a few months ago when a father called me a very rude name because his child's feet were too big for the kid shoes and we did not make the shoe style in bigger sizes. Because that was all my fault. Obviously.

It is those times that I say: This is not my career. Because I love people. I really do. But sometimes they just make it so hard. And that is when I am grateful for my bachelor's degree and pray that it can get me a real career.

p.s. I do love shopping at Target…just not working there. This is why I am usually shopping while I work…it makes the hours pass a lot faster and it makes me better at showing people cute clothes that I wish I could buy.