yesterday.

My guys during our road trip for Christmas

Yesterday I did something that I have wanted to do for about a month. It was something that I've never done in my life and never thought I would do.

I quit my job. Without notice. Without putting in my 2 weeks. Without shame. Without guilt. Without caring what this meant for my employer. Without finding another job to take its place.

I pride myself on being a really hard worker. I always give a full effort at everything I do while on the clock. I am always the one who looks for something else to be done when it is slow. That is why I never imagined myself quitting on the spot without giving 2 weeks notice.

But I was done. I was frustrated and fed-up and annoyed and angry and stressed out and tired.

A part-time, minimum wage job should not bring up all of those feelings. A salaried career? Maybe. But not working as a sales floor team member at Target for $9 an hour.

So I quit. I talked it over with my husband, weighed the pros and cons of not having my (minimal) income for the next little while, and we both decided that my sanity and health are worth more than the few hundred dollars I would have made if I stayed another month or even a last two weeks.

As we drove back home from dropping off my resignation letter, Alex started humming the song "I Gotta Feeling" by the Black Eyed Peas. It was sort of prophetic song for him to choose because within hours of that car ride, we signed a contract for an apartment in Portland and solidified (finally) our move up to Oregon. So it was a good, good night for us. And a good, good day for us too.

book review.

I love books. That is pretty much all I can say about my love of books. I just love them. But I don't love not having money to spend on books.

But I have found a way to combat that too! Blogging for Books is a website that I signed up with recently. They will send you a book of your choosing (FOR FREE) and all you have to do is read it and write a review of it on your blog. Easy peasy.

So here is my first book review. I read Inside the Criminal Mind because as a sociologist, crime and motivation has always interested me.

Inside the Criminal Mind by Stanton E. Samenow is an interesting look into the inner workings and thought processes of a criminal. This research gives a completely new perspective on the study of why criminals behave the way they do.

The main research idea behind this book is that the criminal motive is not based on nature vs nurture or that societal pressures mold a person. There is a lot of contrary research to combat these theories. Samenow is proposing that the criminal mind is complex and conscious; he is saying that there is such thing as a criminal personality that can be identified by observable factors. 

First published in 1984, Inside the Criminal Mind is now in its third edition and is including new societal norms into the basic ideas and conclusions from the first two editions. The addition of cyberbullying, the Internet, drug trafficking, and terrorism have all broadened the basis of Samenow's research and brought it up to date for our society. Samenow establishes that the criminal mind has not changed and does not evolve, rather "society provides new avenues for the criminal mind to express itself" (xiii). 

I have personally studied crime and read other research about the criminal mind and motivations. This book is definitely one of the better ones that I have encountered. Samenow presents his research in a logical and organized way while explaining theories and ideas in understandable terms. He simplifies everything so that those of us without a PhD can still understand and form an opinion on what he is saying. It is an easy read and very interesting to delve into the minds of actual criminals. 

**I received a complementary copy of the book from Blogging for Books in exchange for this review.**

lists.

I am a constant list maker. The Notes app in my phone is full of lists that I've made about everything. I have daily task lists, Christmas lists, book lists, movie lists, travel lists, food lists, recipe lists, grocery lists, quote lists. You name it, and I've probably put it in a list.

I have noticed that as the holiday season has gotten underway in the past few weeks, and I have picked up a lot more hours at work, my list making has increased. It's not just because of Christmas gift buying and preparations for moving in a few months. I realized that when I have days off from work I rarely get anything done if I don't have a list. So I constantly make new daily task lists so that my days off aren't spent mulling over what needs to get done and when and instead are spent actually crossing items off my list. I am highly motivated by the cross-out (I made epic homework lists for school and Alex would constantly make funny of me when I would smile and scribble an assignment out. He also endlessly mocked me when I forgot my hardcopy lists at home and would make him send me a picture. Then I would make a list of the items I needed to cross off my hardcopy list when I got home. My life is an endless cycle of lists and crossing off).

For me, lists create a sense of calm and structure, since I can't really rely on my mind for either of those. Lists also help increase my personal feelings of self-worth and self-esteem. It's much easier to feel good about myself when I spend a day off from work doing things like laundry, shopping, and gift making instead of watching TV and painting my nails (though both of those things are sometimes included in my lists).

My Tuesday list:
Finish making christmas presents
wrap presents
laundry
vacuum
last gift shopping (components)

Obviously my lists make much more sense to me than anyone else, but that's all that matters right?

christmas.

Christmas is one of my favorite times of year because I love to give people gifts. I actually really like trying to figure out what to give people and coming up with really unique gifts.

My husband hates it. It stresses him out and makes him really anxious. He is always trying to find the perfect thing to give someone, that is full of thoughtfulness and meaning, and will make them cry or laugh or say "this is perfect." So pretty much he is never satisfied with what he chooses.

I always try to get gifts early and be done with all my shopping early in December. I don't like to be the Christmas Eve shopper looking for anything that I can find for someone. I am sometimes the Christmas Eve wrapper because the wrapping I let get away from me.

My husband doesn't like this about me. Because I make him shop early too. I know that he is going to buy any present for me at the last minute and that is just something that I will need to learn to live with, but I can force him to shop early for everyone else on the list.

That was our day and night yesterday. We went to a few stores and picked out a few things for his mom and step-dad and then brainstormed some ideas for his brother and went home to find it online. He stresses out really easily so most of our online shopping was spent with me saying "he will love that" and "just breathe" and "oh my gosh just buy it" when he second guessed every item we put in the shopping cart.

All in all we got a bunch of really cool/cute/manly/wonderful/thoughtful/awesome gifts for his family. Like I said, my shopping is already finished, so this was all shopping for his family. I think it's important for Alex to be involved in picking out things for his family, especially his brother because just the act of him caring enough to shop for them is meaningful.

projects.

I have been slaving away over some projects for Christmas gifts. I've probably given myself carpel tunnel from it all but I am really proud of the outcome.

I crocheted two blankets for gifts. One for my mom and one for Alex's mom. I started with the one for Alex's mom. It's a little more simple and straight forward but I think it still looks super cute. And it's her favorite color so she will love it. I finished this one a few weeks ago.

Don't mind Rex in the background or my messy bed.

 And I made a purple one for my mom. I thought the stripes would look really cool and interesting. And the fringe. I probably won't do fringe again on a blanket. It was such a pain, but it does look really nice on this one. I just finished this one today!

And don't mind the lumpiness, Rex is underneath because he wouldn't move. You can see his little legs poking out the top.

My next project is a few scarves for presents. I am making 1 grey scarf, 1 maroon scarf, and 2 tan/cream colored scarves for some of Alex's family. The blankets took about 2 weeks to finish each (of working at night and on my days off) and the scarves take about 3 hours each to make. I am still a beginner so I don't do any fancy stitches or get crazy with anything but I think they all still look really nice. I am very proud that I've made two blankets now!

dogs.

I love dogs. Well I love all animals (except the creepy, crawly kind), but I especially love dogs. When I was growing up we couldn't have a dog because it was just mom and five kids so it was too much. But then we got a dog. When I was 11 I think. He's just a little guy and he was so much fun when I was growing up.

He's super old now and has a lot of problems, but he's still a little gem. He's got a little growth on his forehead that looks like a horn so I call him a unicorn. But he's a good sport and still lets at least my mom cuddle with him.

But we have a lot of dogs in our family and I love all of them.

Kelsey

Molly

Buddy (pre-horn)

Chase

Rex, of course.

Because of my love of dogs, it's no surprise that at Thanksgiving, when I saw a little lover of a dog, I immediately gravitated toward him. His name is Hatchi. I spent a few hours of the time we were there just sitting on the ground next to him scratching his neck and just loving on him. I was covered in hair when I stood up but I just couldn't resist.

Hatchi was in a fire when he was younger (hence the black burn marks on his face, and more on his back). He went through a lot to recover from them all, but now he lives a life of leisure with Mac. He spends his days laying on the patio and sleeping in bed and walking around the neighborhood. He is just a love. They call him "terminator dog" which is totally fitting for his appearance but his personality reads "spa dog."

thanksgiving.

My thanksgiving this year was spent staring at this beautiful view, eating a lot of delicious food that I did not have to cook, and laughing and having fun with family. Alex's family is awesome and I always have a good time when we get around them.

My grateful list:

~ laughter
~ beautiful views
~ someone else cooking dinner (and cleaning up!)
~ having a job. and not having to work black thursday!
~ my wonderful husband who always works so hard for our family
~ rex. mainly because he's cute and cuddly
~ all of my family and alex's family for being supportive and loving

california.

I am a california girl. Born and raised. For the past five years I have spent the winter months in Idaho at school. The snow and cold were fun for a minute before I missed the California winters.

This year I get to spend the winter in California and I am so happy. Here are a few of my favorite things about California winters.

~ fresh fruit readily available

~ cloudy beach days

~ cold meaning 55 degrees

~ being able to wear light layers of clothing and be warm enough (no need for huge heavy jackets!)

~ the sun still shines and you can actually feel its warmth

~ regardless of the warm weather, still being able to enjoy holiday things like hot chocolate and Christmas tree lots. You don't need snow and icy wind to enjoy those!

comfort.

It always seems like whenever I have a bad day or am in a bad mood or feel anything that could have any negativity, I crave comfort food. 

Everyone comfort food is different. Classic comfort food is southern food: mashed potatoes, fried chicken, creamed corn. But it could also be soup, chili, beef stew, pot roast with vegetables. 

Mine is pasta.

I love all pasta. Any shape. Any sauce. Creamy Alfredo, rich tomato basil, smooth vodka sauce, luscious cheese sauce. With meat or chicken or vegetables mixed in. There is just something about a big bowl of pasta smothered in sauce and cheese that makes me feel so warm and comfortable. 

That's why I made some last night. A big pot of spaghetti with meat sauce. It's an easy one to make and it just tastes so wonderful. I think homemade Alfredo sauce is my favorite, but last night I needed something quick and easy. For this one I just popped open a jar of good tomato basil sauce because it was convenient but I do like to make my own tomato sauce.

The best part of pasta is the cheese on top. This time I was lucky enough to have some fresh Parmesan to grate on top. It really makes a big flavor difference to have good quality cheese. And I'm a fan of cheese so I went big.

tomato meat sauce 

1 lb ground beef

1 tbsp olive oil

1 small onion, diced small

2 cloves garlic, minced

1/2 tbsp Italian seasoning

2 tsp oregano

1 tsp red pepper flakes

1 24 oz can crushed tomatoes

1 14 oz can diced or stewed tomatoes

5-7 basil leaves, rough chopped or torn

Salt and pepper

Heat the olive oil over medium high heat in a deep sauce pan. When it starts to ripple, add the onions and a pinch of salt and cook until soft. Add the garlic and cook for 30 seconds, stirring constantly. Add the ground beef and break up into small chunks. Cook until cooked through. Drain off any excess fat from the pan and return to the heat. Add the Italian seasoning, oregano, red pepper flakes, salt and pepper. Cook for a few minutes until the seasonings are fragrant. Lower the heat to medium low and add both cans of tomatoes. Use the back of a wooden spoon to break up the tomato chunks and stir the tomatoes into the meat and seasonings. Cook the sauce on low to medium low for 15-20 minutes to allow all flavors to combine, stirring occasionally. Taste the sauce and add 1-2 tsp of sugar if the sauce is acidic. Remove the sauce from the heat when seasoning is just right and stir in basil leaves.

Serve the sauce hot over your favorite shape of pasta with the lots of Parmesan cheese to top. 

The other best part of pasta is the sides. Crispy salads with oil and vinegar dressings and croutons. Steamed broccoli with salty garlic butter and Parmesan cheese. And of course garlic bread. Garlic bread has been my favorite food item since I was a little girl. I would take huge portions and bread and small portions of everything else. This is my favorite garlic bread recipe by far. It starts with the star ingredient: bread. I love a good sourdough loaf. The chewy inside and light sour flavor really make a good boat and complement for the garlic and butter. You can use a French bread or a ciabatta if you want but look for a long sourdough loaf to try at least once. San Luis Sourdough is my favorite...hard to find and sometimes expensive but such a good splurge. It comes from my hometown, so, yes I'm biased.

garlic bread

sourdough bread loaf

Butter

Garlic salt

Grated Parmesan cheese (not the best stuff but not the powdered stuff in a can)

This is more a method than a recipe. First preheat the broiler on high. Cut the bread loaf down the middle long ways so you separate the top and bottom. Liberally spread butter on the cut sides. Sprinkle a good amount of garlic salt on each half as well...enough to taste it, obviously but you can do more or less depending on what you like. Then sprinkle a decent amount of cheese. Again enough to cover a taste but you can put as much or little as you want. 

Now throw it on a baking pan and into the broiler a few inches away from the heat source. Keep your eye on it because it goes fast. You want to top to be light brown and the cheese all melted but no burnt edges. The bread should be softer as well. Then slice it up and serve it hot.

productivity.

I don't know why but I am always so much more productive when my husband is away. Not just away at work or away hanging out with friends because those days I am lazy as ever and usually eat in bed watching Netflix. 

But he went out of town this weekend to visit family and friends and I was so productive! I worked three 8 hour days just to start and then when I got home I was busy busy the whole time. 

On Friday night I cooked a nice dinner since I haven't been able to cook in a long time and then went to work on one of my presents for Alex for Christmas. Obviously it's a surprise and it's already killing him that he doesn't know what it is. Then on Saturday I worked a full day and after got to go out to dinner with Alex's mom at Natural Cafe, which is delicious. We just got to talk and hang out and relax for a little while. Unwind from the week. After dinner I went back to work on Alex's present and was able to finish the whole thing!! I'm very happy it's all done. Now on to other homemade gifts. 

Then Sunday I didn't work until 2:30 so I spent the morning cleaning out our closet. When we leave the house and the dogs are alone for an extended period we usually throw anything that they can chew and destroy into the closet and close the door. Well a few weeks of doing this and you can't see the floor, so I cleaned it out and organized it up and hopefully it stays nice for a while. 

After work today (another full shift thankfully) I plan to keep going on my crocheting project. I picked two green yarns and I'm thinking if it turns out decent enough I want to give it to Alex's mom for Christmas because green is her favorite. 

I like productive weekends. Especially when Alex is away because it makes it go by much faster. That is always a good thing!

gratitude.

I have had a rough little while the past few weeks. Just stress and discomfort and a little sadness come my way that I've had to deal with. Nothing too serious but enough all at the same time to just wear me down. In the past I always noticed that when I was helping other people or very aware of my personal blessings, it was a lot easier to deal with stress and other issues. So here's a list of some things I'm grateful for:

1. My husband. Alex is amazing at making me feel good about myself and helping to defuse situations. I am a high stress individual and he is very calm. We have a nice balance.

2. Rex. This little baby dog is wonderful. He is so cuddly and sweet. Anytime of day he has a way of making everything ok with his goofy smile and sweet kisses.

3. My mom. She is a gem. Even from a different state she is always looking out for me and Alex and makes sure that we are ok.

4. My job. I am grateful to have a job and the ability to work.

And...

Cold weather

Sunshine

Freedom

Books

Cozy beds

The holiday season

Laughter

Juice

Caramel apple lollipops 

Sales and clearance items

Food

Hugs

Walks

Health

Love

Inspirations

Fresh mown grass

crafting.

My husband and I have been working our butts off for the past few months to pay off some debt and save as much money as possible to move to Portland. Doing this meant that we moved in with his mom and step-dad for a while to cut down on our expenses. They have been wonderful to let us stay with them and we have been doing our best to save as much as possible.

With the holidays coming we realized that we wanted to give our family members something to show them how much we love them and appreciate them, but we need a budget because we both will spend all our money to give to others. It's a wonderful generous quality that we both have but our bank accounts don't appreciate it all the time. So we budgeted out how much we could spend for everyone and for each other. Our "each other budget" is super small so homemade gifts are a must. That is what brought me to the craft store when I saw the yarn and thought "hey! I used to know how to crochet! I could do that!" Fast forward to four hours when I was still online reading tutorials trying to figure out what I'm doing. 

When I was younger (like 8 or 9 years old) I learned how to crochet and I was really good at it. Then I picked it back up a few years ago and made a couple scarves and hats. Now here I go one more time and I'm gonna try a bigger project. 

I found a lot of really awesome tutorials on maybematilda.com with pictures and instructions for all different stitches and how to read patterns. It really brought back everything that I remember from back in the day.

cupcakes.

A few summers ago I worked in a bakery baking cupcakes. I only worked there two or three days a week but in eight months I had really perfected the art of cupcakes. They are one of my favorite treats to bake because they are so easy and versatile. We made a lot of varieties in the shop: chocolate, vanilla, peanut butter, lemon, raspberry, limeade, pink champagne, s'more, red velvet, sprinkles, and so many more. All were delicious. 

After a month or so of baking a few days a week, I was trained how to frost and decorate them. This was the most fun part for me. I loved piping the frosting on and seeing them come together completely. 

Starting in the back we have: chocolate fudge sundae, coconut, lemon, red velvet, chocolate, peanut butter, pink champagne, salted caramel, hot chocolate, and cookies n' cream. 

So I've become a professional cupcake baker. I'm not much for the perfectly homemade baked goods so I make altered boxed cupcakes. They are delicious and no one knows it's from a box.

cupcakes

*This recipe is more a method than a strict recipe. You can change the flavor by simply using a different boxed cake mix.

1 boxed cake mix

1 small box instant pudding (in complementary flavor)

1 1/2 cups lemon-lime soda

1/3 cup oil

4 eggs

Add the liquid ingredients to a stand mixer first. Pour the cake and pudding mixes on top. Start with mixed on low and stir until the dry ingredients are wet. Switch mixer to medium and stir until thick and well combined. 

The batter is super thick at this point so scooping it into lined cupcake tins is the best option. I use a round ice cream scoop. It helps keep the cupcakes uniform size as well. 

Bake the cupcakes at 325 for 15-20 minutes. The cakes should be dry on top and firm to the touch. You can use a toothpick to test if you wish. Let them cool in the pan for 5 minutes and then transfer to a cooling rack until completely cool before frosting.

*I usually bake the cupcakes and make the frosting the day before I want to serve them. Store the cupcakes in an airtight container or tightly covered in plastic wrap. Then I let the frosting sit out for a few hours to soften before piping. 

frosting

*I don't have any super special buttercream recipe. I usually use the recipe on the powdered sugar box. It's perfect for these cupcakes because it's not to sweet and it stands up to the rich flavor of the cakes.

1 stick softened butter

1 box powdered sugar

2 tsp vanilla

1/3 cup milk

(Add 1/3 cup cocoa powder for chocolate frosting)

Beat the butter in the mixer until light and fluffy. Add half the powdered sugar and all the vanilla and beat slowly until the sugar is combined. Add the rest of the sugar and half the milk, beating slowly to combine. Add more milk if needed to bring the frosting together. Taste and add more milk or powdered sugar if needed.

date night.

We try our best to have a date night every week. Sometimes it's all planned out like a concert in Hollywood or Santa Barbara. Sometimes it's simple like dinner at a delicious Thai restaurant. Sometimes it's casual like taking Rex to the dog park. Sometimes it's just picking something on Netflix that we both want to watch and not being on our phones or computers while we watch. Other times it just doesn't happen and I count trips to the grocery store or an outing to get soda as our date night. 

This week date night was actually planned. We planned to go to the movies and see Gone Girl. I read the book and really liked it and I've heard only good things about the movie so we made it a date night.

We are very simple people and Alex working at home and me only working part time, there are some days that we don't put on real clothes. It's sweats and tshirts or basketball shorts and tank tops. Easy, comfortable, and no hassle. So date night is a time for us to actually put on real clothes and looks like real human beings.

It's always a lot of fun to be able to plan a date night because it gives me something to look forward to during the week. But movies can be so expensive! At $12.50 a ticket, you're already paying $25 just to get in. Then another $20 or so if you want a soda and popcorn. And don't even think about candy. I'm usually a strict no concession stand kinda gal. I just can't get over the fact that I could spend half as much money and get more treats somewhere else. Which is usually what I do and then sneak them into the theater in my gigantic bag.

(Side note: when we lived in Idaho and had zero money to our names, we went to the cheap movie theatre for a special night out and I literally snuck in two 44oz sodas, a bag of candy, and a steaming Tupperware full of leftover heated up chow mein. I am professional at sneaking treats into movies. It embarrasses Alex to no end, but he still partakes.)

But for date night I relented and we got some treats at the theatre. Just sodas and a small popcorn. Like I said, don't even think about get candy. I did sneak in a bag of chocolates and caramel apples pops because I couldn't resist. 

All in all it was a successful date night. Good movie. Good company. Good treats. Gone Girl was definitely a good pick. 

books.

I love to read. Books have always been my way to escape and delve into worlds that I've always dreamed about. I read a lot while I was growing up and it has always just stuck with me. During college I carried a book with me at all times. My roommates all thought I was crazy because when I wasn't doing homework they could find me in a book. 

Harry Potter has always always always been one of my favorites. I have read it countless times and it still holds my attention when I come back to it. 

I started the series over again about three weeks ago and I am half-way through the last book: The Deathly Hallows. I didn't used to like this one as much as the others because it felt like it was dripping with teen angst, because heaven knows I had enough of that in my own life. But as I've learned more about the series all new information pops out at me about what is happening. It's more a coming of age story than anything. Harry has to come to terms with his fate and figure out who he is with regard to the war that is raging around him. 

I could talk Harry Potter philosophy for days. I could teach a class on Harry Potter philosophy. But for now I'm just going to finish reading the series and enjoy my internal monologue of Harry Pottsr philosophy.

jambalaya.

I don't get to cook very much with my work schedule, so when I do I like to make new recipes and try new flavors. I have had jambalaya in restaurants before and it is always amazing, but I've never tried to cook it myself. Last night I took on the task. I looked up a few recipes and combined them to accommodate what I had on hand. I amped up the cajun spice quantity because we like spicy food, but I'm sure it would be good with the normal amount too. I also learned that shrimp is traditional in jambalaya but I didn't have any and didn't want to splurge on some for this experiment. Next time though I'm definitely throwing some into the mix!

I really just like all the fresh vegetables mixed together with the spicy seasoning and the sausage. It's a really good one pot meal. And leftovers are even better.

jambalaya

2 tbsp oil
1 small onion
1 red bell pepper
1 yellow bell pepper
1 jalepeno
2 garlic cloves
2 chicken breasts (chopped)
3 sausage links (sliced into rounds) *see note below
1 can (14 oz) tomatoes (any: whole, crushed, diced)
3 cups chicken stock
1 bay leaf
1 tbsp hot sauce (any)
1 1/2 cups rice (short grain)
3 tbsp cajun seasoning (see recipe below)
chopped green onion and parsley to garnish (optional)

Chop onion, peppers, jalepeno and garlic and sauté in the oil over medium heat for 5 minutes, or until the onions are translucent and the peppers are soft. Add the chicken and sausage, cooking until they are almost done (leave a little pink in the middle, they will continue to cook in the broth). Meanwhile, combine tomatoes, chicken stock, bay leaf, and hot sauce and set aside. (If using whole tomatoes, crush them into smaller pieces). While the meat is almost fully cooked, add the tomato mixture, rice, and cajun seasoning. Bring to a boil and reduce heat to low. Simmer for 25-30 or until the rice is tender and most of the liquid is gone. Stir occasionally to prevent the rice from sticking to the bottom and burning. Once the rice is tender, stir and let the pot sit uncovered for 5-10 minutes to allow the last of the liquid to thicken. Serve warm with green onions and parsley as garnish.

cajun seasoning mix

2 tsp salt
2 tsp garlic powder
2 1/2 tsp paprika
1 tsp black pepper
1 tsp onion powder
1 tsp cayenne pepper
1 1/4 tsp dried oregano
1 1/4 tsp dried thyme

Mix all spices together thoroughly and store in an air tight container or bag.


*Traditionally you would use kielbasa sausage for this but I didn't have any. I used just run of the mill sausage links with some spice and fennel flavor. It was delicious. I did have to cook the links whole and then slice them afterward, but it still worked out.

retail.

1

I work retail. (Can you guess where?) It is not fun. It is not fulfilling. And it is not my career. I tell myself that every day I walk through the doors: This is not my career.

A lot of people have said that everyone should have to work retail at one point in their lives because it will make us all nicer and more appreciative when we walk into stores. I honestly think that a lot of the people who are the worst toward retail employees would not be able to hack it working retail. It is a tough job. There are some days where I feel like I am just cleaning up other people's messes (guests and fellow team members). Those days are the worst because it feels so shameful to be forced to throw this abandoned coffee cup away because someone could not be bothered to walk five steps to the left. It feels shameful to pick up clothing and hangers and shoes off the ground because people do not have the decency to hang something back on the rack.

But somedays I find myself proud of the job I did. I finished three racks of go-backs today. Or I nailed the zoning on the baby food aisle. Or I helped someone finishing cleaning their section because I was done with mine early. Or, today, I helped two older ladies pick out some sweaters for the winter months (California winter months) when they had almost given up hope of finding anything in their size. That really made my day better. It was a small and super easy task for me but it was so nice to hear them both say "look at this one!" and "how cute is this?!" and then walk away with an armful each. I am a professional at spending other people's money, apparently.

But it seems to be few and far between on times like these. Like yesterday when an expecting mother stormed away from me because I told her we did not have a certain crib sheet set from her registry. Or a few months ago when a father called me a very rude name because his child's feet were too big for the kid shoes and we did not make the shoe style in bigger sizes. Because that was all my fault. Obviously.

It is those times that I say: This is not my career. Because I love people. I really do. But sometimes they just make it so hard. And that is when I am grateful for my bachelor's degree and pray that it can get me a real career.

p.s. I do love shopping at Target…just not working there. This is why I am usually shopping while I work…it makes the hours pass a lot faster and it makes me better at showing people cute clothes that I wish I could buy.

marriage.

I found this quote a while ago and it really stuck with me. I fell in love with my husband the moment I saw him and I realized I was in love and not just excited that this gorgeous guy liked me probably two weeks later. It is very cheesy to admit but I fall in love with him more and more every day that we spend together. It is very cool for me, since I was always the girl who never imagined getting married.

my all-time favorite picture from our wedding.

Alex's mom did all the flowers for us and created bouquets more beautiful that I even imagined.

look at this handsome guy.

But the wedding is over. The honeymoon ended a long time ago. And we are still here over a year later. That's a big feat for both of us since before each other, each of our longest relationships was three months or less! The biggest thing that I have learned about being married is that marriage is hard.

There is nothing else to say. Responsibility was thrown on our shoulders the minute we said I do and it has stayed there and will continue to stay there for the rest of our lives. And it's hard! We took on each others passions and hobbies. Debts and money skills. Talents and faults. Strengths and weaknesses. I couldn't say "oh you like sleeping with a fan on? I'm not okay with that so you will need to stop." He couldn't say "oh you're a backseat driver (to the extreme)? I'm not okay with that so you will need to keep your mouth shut and your pointer finger in check." (Even though he has said that to me a million times…I just can't stop). We had to accept these things about each other and learn to live with them.

Something I have discovered though is that we are most successful in our marriage when we use our own strengths and talents to make up for the other persons weaknesses. Even in the small things I find we are so successful and happy. Alex is not a very good cook. He lacks confidence in himself and understanding of how to cook so he can really only make a few things. He makes a mean quesadilla and can find his way around a burrito when he needs to, but that's about it. I happen to love cooking and trying new recipes so I do most of the cooking. Alex helps me all the time and is wonderful at lending a hand when I need something in the kitchen but for the most part I make the meals. I am a terrible driver. I mean I am an awesome driver, but no one else seems to really think that, so Alex usually drives. This is best because neither of us are very good at directions but I can usually read maps better. It's all about compensating for each others lacks with our own talents. I am really good at washing clothes (most of the time!!) but really bad about putting them away, so Alex usually picks up my slack and handles it. Alex is a bit forgetful when it comes to putting things away (keys, wallets, dirty socks, etc.) and I am usually pretty good about following behind him and picking things up (maybe that's why I excel at target so much!).

But it's hard. Everyday presents a new challenge for us to overcome. Paying bills. Cleaning the house. Buying groceries. Planning for holidays. Finding a new apartment. All of these things we do together to manage our life and keep on moving into the future. It definitely hasn't been easy to get through sometimes, but there is no one I'd rather struggle next to than my guy.

manic monday.

Monday's always seem to get me down. Working retail means that I don't have set weekends. Actually it usually means that I always work weekends and I have random days off during the week. Even with that, I still get down on Mondays. To combat this I usually make a mental list of things to look forward to, things I love, things that inspire me, things that excite me to get me through the Monday and on to the Tuesday which is somehow easier.

1

≈ Halloween is in two weeks. I love Halloween because I love to see the creative costumes and treats.
≈ The in-laws are throwing a kickass annual Halloween party this Saturday that I have never been  
    around for, so it is bound to be a lot of fun.
≈ For said annual Halloween party, I am making cupcakes. I love cupcakes. And I am trying to eat a
   little healthier recently, so a splurge on delicious cupcakes is much needed.
≈ I only work one more day this week! Boo for my next paycheck…but yay for my sanity!
≈ We are having a date night this week and seeing the movie Gone Girl. I read the book and was so
    torn because I loved the whole book until the ending. The end just killed me. But my sister said the
    movie is amazing so now I have to go.
≈ I just started the last Harry Potter book, after having finished the other six over the past two and a
   half weeks. This is time number…a million…that I am reading the series. I like Harry Potter a lot.
≈ My next weeks work schedule is jam packed with hours so I can finally feel busy again after the
   hours cutbacks of the past six weeks.
≈ The weather is cooling down and the nights are getting crisper. That means sweaters, cuddling, hot
    apple cider, and thick wool socks are on their way!!!

Happy manic monday!

sunday musings.

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I feel like this ecard says everything about me. I wouldn't say that I am an antisocial type of person, but more of a homebody. I like my comforts and I like my routines and I dislike things that rock the boat…you know, like having a social life.

But tonight was one of those nights where laying in bed, watching endless streams of Netflix and cuddling with the dog just sounded so nice. Sunday is for resting. And tonight I was very restful and very avoidant of social situations. I think that should be okay every few days.

rex.

≈ Rex's first picture ≈

I figured if the husband got a post about how great he is, the dog should also get a post.

He is a great dog. He is loving and cuddly and obedient and kind and sweet and a little dumb and easily distracted and highly motivated by food and crazy and energetic and cute and obsessive and a handful and every other good thing.

≈ beach dog ≈ tired dog ≈ regal dog ≈

He came to us in such an interesting way. I have always liked origin stories. You know, Superman came from the ice planet whatever and Batman had his troubled family past. Well Rex has a good origin story too. A lot of it is speculation and observation on our part because you really can't just go up to someone and say "So you neglected this dog, right? And you just decided one day that you didn't want him so you put him in the garage to hang out while you decided what to do?" That doesn't go over very well.

But we had been living in Idaho for almost five months and been married for about five and a half months. Pretty much the whole five months I asked if we could get a dog. Finally Alex relented and started looking on craigslist and shelter sites for a dog; he was very noncommittal about it and didn't really think anything about it. One day he saw Rex on craigslist in the free section. He was a cute little guy about a year old, pit bull mix, the ad said well tempered. Alex had a feeling about him so he sent me the link and the picture. I about died at how adorable his little face was and that night we went to see him.

He was in a non-temperature controlled garage (in Idaho. In January. With snow on the ground.) with a little bowl of food, little bowl of water, and a huge bone. When we walked in he ran up to us and licked our hands and wagged his tail and let us pet him and sat in front of us...just pretty much wanted attention and love. He was definitely underweight (I could see all his ribs and spine) and he had little black sores on his paws and testicles. The guy told us he was well behaved, house trained, leash trained (not!) and just a big lover. Alex noticed a little cement kennel area outside that looked like it was his bed and bathroom and eating area all in one.

We went home that night and talked about it and said every thing that was wrong with us taking him. We came up with every single reason why we could not handle having this dog in our tiny apartment, and the list was really long. It was definitely convincing to any sane person. We went to bed that night and one of the last things we said to each other was "so what time are we going to get Rex tomorrow to bring him home?" There was no question that this little baby needed to come live with us. Even with everything against the decision (tiny apartment, big dog, house trained??, no time, school, work, our deposit, etc.) we some how both knew that he was our dog and we needed to bring him home.

Now...ten months later...I would still make the same decision. Even with Rex's abandonment issues, anxiety, neediness, depressive episodes, fear of the dark, and tantrums (oh were there tantrums!! every time we left the apartment he would freak out), I never regret taking him home. He's our baby. Our 70 pound, pit bull/rottweiler mix, hunk of pure muscle baby. And he is such a baby. And we love him so much.

     

                                                          ≈ sad dog ≈                                                                ≈ lazy dog ≈

 ≈ booty shame face dog≈

≈ creepy dog (I woke up to this image inches from my face)≈

So much...that we got him his first halloween costume. Here comes the T-REX!!

husband.

I have a wonderful husband and I feel the need to tell anyone and everyone who will listen. Literally. I talk about him all the time to girls at work. They are definitely tired of hearing how great my husband is. But he really is. Presenting the best husband ever…Alex!

 

≈ our one year anniversary in August ≈ my sister's wedding in July ≈ Alex and Rex in Idaho ≈ Alex in his element ≈

I got sick on our last day in Texas. It was travel day, of course, and there I was with the start of a head cold and some bad stomach pains. Because everything that can be wrong with me at one time, will be wrong with me. But he handled it like a champ. Helping me through security, getting me a hot drink for my throat, letting me lay my head on his shoulder, making sure I always had water. He is the ultimate sweetheart.

And obviously the sick did not stop when we got home. So he made me lunch so I would not have to get out of bed, brought me tissues and medicine, filled my water bottle, washed the dishes so I would not have to. All while going back to work first thing. He kept texting me from the living room during the day to ask if I needed anything and if I was ok.

But don't get me wrong, he wasn't perfect at it. He kept getting frustrated when I couldn't make up my mind and annoyed when I would ask him to make six trips to the kitchen because I needed juice, and then napkins, and then more ice, and then tea, all within ten minutes. Or when I wouldn't take my medicine, he would offer to force feed me the pills. But he did it all!

And that is why I love him. Always willing to serve and help when I need him. But I know that he is praying that I do not get sick again anytime soon...for more reasons than just my health.

texas.

We had the opportunity to go to Texas last weekend to visit my husband's grandmother. Neither of us had ever been to Texas so it was nice to be able to experience it all together. We were in the very small town (population 3,338) of Winnsboro. 

A few things I noticed:

≈ The sky is bigger in Texas. I do not know why exactly, but it is. I think it was especially noticeable 

    because of the small town we were in. No big buildings, no towering skyscrapers, no mountains 

    blocking the horizon. It was really crazy to see so much sky and so many clouds unencumbered by 

    buildings and towers. 

≈ With the sky being bigger, the sun was also brighter. So much California smog and pollution has 

    clouded my view of the sun apparently. Texas has shown me exactly how bright the sun is and how 

    much I appreciate my prescription sunglasses. Such a lifesaver. 

≈ Apparently the saying "Everything's bigger in Texas" is just plain true.

≈ Everything is deep fried. Fish, okra, zucchini, chicken, steak, shrimp, frog legs, onions, potatoes, 

   PIE. It was the pie that threw me off. I saw it on every menu we looked at and I never had the 

   courage to ask what that meant. I think I was afraid they would make me try it and I would like it. 

   Oh, Paula. 

≈ Some of Texas is green! It's not all tumble weeds and dry air. We were seriously misinformed and 

   shocked at all the green trees and grass.

≈ People can be really friendly. Everyone we met was so welcoming and curious about who we were. 

   It was nice to feel listened to and welcomed in every situation. I liked the southern hospitality.

≈ The weather is wonderful. Storms and lightning. Sunshine and sweat. Clouds for days. I liked that.

It was a good trip. Fun to see family and meet some family for me and fun to experience a new state. This little trip did spark the travel bug for us. If only our little dog bug could always come with us.

words wednesday.

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I found this quote and picture the other day and I realized how true it has become in my own life. There are so few people that I can say are my friends because I stopped trying to be everyone's friend. I went through a period in my life where I tried to be friends with a bunch of people at work and all of their friends outside of work too. It became exhausting! Not only did I not even like half of them, but by trying to be their friend it ensured that I had to be around them a lot; which was a lot more than I even wanted to. This was also a time in my life where I made a lot of stupid choices because of these friends, but that is besides that point.

This quote really speaks true for me because I have found the people in my life that matter and that make a difference, and these people are the ones that I notice when I have not talked to them in a while. I do have the friends that I speak to less than ever, but when we do talk, it is as if no time has passed and catching up is more fun than it is tedious. Those are the real ones.

So cheers to having real friendships and dropping all the duds that don't matter!

blog.

1

I have never really been a good speaker. I get tongue-tied very easily and I always blush when I make a mistake. Writing has always been a way for me to express things that I could not say. I have developed a knack for getting the words down on paper exactly how I want them. It does help that I can edit as I go. But I love writing. It just seems so easy and liberating and safe to put the words down without saying them out loud. I cannot say why it feels safer to write the words instead of saying them, but it does.

So I write a lot. Not as much as I would like recently, but that can change.